


can you hear the silence?

by Snowingiron



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Deaf Character, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 13:25:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8981698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowingiron/pseuds/Snowingiron
Summary: Gladio had never heard a sound in his entire life. He was born deaf and no one expected him to step in line and become the prince's shield. But Gladio never thought of his Condition as a disadvantage. If anything, it made him even more capable.(In which Gladio obviously doesn't fall for Noctis' eloquence.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This may sound ridiculous but this work was actually inspired by dancing with the stars? I caught up with the last few seasons and there was this model called Nyle, who was deaf. [It was so inspiring and his outfit kiiinda reminded me of Gladio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LW0Cwwtom8). So that's how I came up with it... I hope you like it! English is not my first language so I'm even more nervous. I appreciate any kind of feedback!

Gladio had never heard a sound in his entire life. It had taken a while until his parents noticed that he couldn't hear a thing and one of his first memories as a child was their sad and disappointed faces. It got better when he became older and his father would smile at him again but he'd always wondered why him being deaf was so bad. It was not like he could miss it, he had never been able to hear in the first place. So why did it matter?

The world was a silent place and Gladio embraced it. His sense of touch was much stronger than that of the average, even though he only used it to feel the footsteps on the hallway, telling him when to run away with the food he stole from the kitchen. It was a nice life and even though his father wasn't home that much he still had his mother. She was the only one who bothered to teach him sign language and learn it herself, so she could speak to her son. She said it was beautiful, the way he moved his hands, as if he was dancing. Gladio thought she was silly for saying that, but he was only a child, so he didn't mention it. Life was good.

At least it was, until he turned eight years old and learned what his father's profession was.

 _The king's sworn shields_ , his mother had signed with a sad look on her face.

Gladio recognised it, from one of his first memories. So that's what this was about. He was supposed to step in line and become the shield of the young prince who was barely five years old. Gladio felt excitement bubble up in his chest, but it was quickly crushed by his father's disapproving look.

" _He cannot fight when he's deaf._ "

He didn't sign it but Gladio could read lips quite well by now. At least when it came to his family. Strangers who slurred their words or mumbled a lot were harder to read. So he _was_ supposed to become the shield but they didn't think he was capable? Because he was deaf? Gladio clenched the fabric of his pants between his hands, staring at the floor with an angry look.

When his mother touched his arm to make him look up, she looked concerned. Gladio's eyes flickered from his mother to his father and he opened his mouth.

"I will do it." 

He rarely used his voice. He knew he sounded off and the words were pronounced wrong, but this time he had to. And he had to look his father in the eye while doing so.

He didn't expect the watery smile that slowly claimed his father's face and when Gladio was pulled into his arms, he managed not to cry.

* * *

To become the prince's bodyguard was nothing like attending school. He didn't get trained with others and he didn't form any friendships.

_"We guard the king with our lives – that's the way it has always been. You may take a wife to have children, but your priority will be the prince. He will be more important than your woman or your children."_

_Don't you love mother and me?_

His father didn't answer. Gladio knew how it was between him and Regis. It was like they were deaf too, because they didn't have to talk to understand each other. Gladio wished he could be like that with someone. What would it be like, to serve Noctis? You didn't see him that often, he had been a sickly child and everyone knew that a great destiny was lying ahead of him. Still, he was a voiceless and sometimes faceless constant in Gladio's life.

Everything he did, everything he learned, was for the prince. Gladio took pride in it. He wanted to serve someone who was capable of becoming a great king. The true king. Someone worth dying for. Well, what else had Gladio to live for? The other kids never wanted to play with him and he couldn't articulate himself well enough, so even when he'd been a toddler, he'd just punched people in the face. No, Gladio was not good at making friends. 

He dodged his father's sword and jumped backwards, breathing heavily and wiping off the sweat that was streaming down his face. Every muscle in his body was aching but he didn't mind. Each fibre that teared would knit back together even stronger. He would become _so_ strong and his mother would stop looking at him like that, people would not question him anymore and his prince would be proud to have him by his side.

Perhaps his father would love him too, then.

* * *

(When Iris was born his father was much happier and it almost teared Gladio apart. Almost. Cause when he held his little sister in his arms for the first time, he couldn't be mad at her. 

_Welcome to the family._ )

* * *

The day het met Noctis he managed to punch his prince in the face. Noctis was staring at him in shock and Gladio was fuming with anger. He wanted a _king_ not a little _brat_ who didn't want to fight. 

He continued his lessons with Gladio but his eyes were trained on the floor at all times, never looking at the older boy who was supposed to become his living shield. If he kept looking down, they'd never be able to talk.

Gladio had grown up with an idea of Noctis and now he felt disappointed. Disappointed that this kid had not lived up to his expectations. He was royalty and supposed to be better than all of them. But now Gladio could see that he really was just a child, carrying a burden Gladio was supposed to help him with, for as long as he was able to.

It was almost hilarious that they had trained for weeks and only then did Noctis notice that Gladio couldn't hear. He had just assumed that Gladio didn't want to speak with him and ignored anything Noctis had said to his back.

 _"How?"_ , Noctis' lips shaped the word carefully as he rubbed the sore spot on his cheek.

Gladio knew it was pointless, but he still signed the answer, moving his hands the way he would swing a sword. 

_I was born this way and I can still protect you like this. I want you to become a good king._

But it never reached Noctis, instead they kept fighting, until the day Iris disappeared and Noctis along with her. Gladio's heart was pounding and he was _worried_. For Iris, of course, since she was his sister, but also for Noctis and he hadn't expected that. Even when he was angry, he couldn't deny the responsibilty he felt for the boy.

 _Thank you,_ Gladio mouthed, along with the sign for it, fingertips briefly touching his chin before he dropped his hand again.

Noctis only smiled at him and Gladio's heart almost stopped.

* * *

Here is the thing: Being deaf was not a disadvantage. It was something neither his parents nor other people ever understood. Not even Iris. He had lived without the sense of hearing since birth and always depended on his instincts and the movements of the earth. He had been communicating with his body his whole life and turning that into a weapon was the most natural thing in the world.

* * *

Ignis was a smart guy. He was a year younger than Gladio but very perceptive of the things around him. He always had that knowing look, even when he was cooking. Like he was analyzing the food's weakness and then stab it into submission. Gladio thought it was hilarious. Ignis was the only one who had bothered to learn sign language. When he offered Noctis to teach him as well, the prince turned bright red. Not with anger but with shame, because he hadn't bothered before, he'd only been communicating with Gladio through letters or gestures. 

Prompto was a bundle of energy and it only took a few moments for Gladio to figure him out. Prompto was not the only one hiding behind a facade. He and Noctis got along quite well, even though the prince disliked the amount of pictures he took. Gladio didn't mind and would sometimes indulge Prompto by doing these weird poses he insisted on. 

All in all they were a pretty good team. They would go out together and do little trips outside of Insomnia. But never too far away, the king wouldn't allow it, even though all of them had become stronger, now that they had magical abilities. Gladio knew he could only hold that power as long as Noctis was alive. He could feel the flow of magic rip through his veins when he summoned his sword. It felt so natural and familiar, like Noctis was touching him and Gladio shuddered at that. He didn't know what this feeling was, but it shook him to the bone and let his wish to protect Noctis grow even more.

On one of these days he pushed Noctis out of the way to slay the beast that they had been hunting down for hours. Gladio felt his own heart pound with relief when he saw Noctis was irritated but unharmed. It was the first time Gladio ever saw him use sign language. He knew Ignis was teaching Noctis but he didn't want to use it until he had perfected his skills. At least he could understand Gladio now. But this sign was one Noctis had already learned years ago. He touched his own chin with trembling fingers, then they fell away and words tumbled from his soft lips.

" _Thank you. For protecting me._ "

Gladio felt himself burst with pride, heat tugging warmly at his chest and then flooding the rest of his body. In that moment he felt the undeniable urge to pull Noctis into his arms and hold him close, to shield him from the world, his fate and everything else that tried to hurt him. It should be normal, for a shield to feel that way about their prince, but he would not lie to himself any longer... he knew it was more. But he couldn't say it, couldn't sign it and he couldn't act on it, so he bumped his shoulder against Noctis' with a grin. The younger man stumbled and looked scandalised for a moment, before he almost smiled back and punched him in the arm. Gladio ignored the prickling sensation that spread over his skin.

He thought of his father, wondering if he felt like that about Regis too.

* * *

There was a story, an incident, that had changed Gladio forever. The night he had failed in his duty. They'd all been asleep and Gladio had slept so soundly that he didn't sense the niffy assassin who approached them on light feet. It was Noctis who had protected him, warping through the assassin and stabbing him in the back.

 _Just the way I've taught him_.

Guilt was eating away at him, even more when Noctis looked at him so fucking _concerned_ , as if he had been the one in danger. It was making him angry. It was humiliating. Gladio had been so serious about his training, had made sure everyone understood that he was ready for the job... and now he had failed. He stopped Noctis' hands that were patting down his body, looking for any kind of injury. Noctis barely moved his lips, so Gladio didn't know what he was saying, but he shoved him away and shook his head. Whatever he wanted to say, this was Gladio's fault. 

Prompto just stood there awkwardly and Ignis had this intense look again, shoving his glasses up his nose. They didn't know, they didn't understand, none of them did. He had failed. He would never fail again. (Ever since that night Gladio became a light sleeper, more dozing than actually sleeping and he smiled less. He pretended not to notice Ignis' concerned eyes.)

None of them mentioned that night ever again, but Gladio was sticking even closer to Noctis.

(That was not true. It was Noctis who seeked him out constantly, arm brushing against his.)

* * *

Everything was falling apart. Insomnia, their lives, their families, they only had each other. When Noctis buried his face in his hands and his knees gave away, it was Gladio who caught him, wrapping both arms around his middle and pulling him against his chest. His face was pressed into Noctis' shoulder and he did nothing else, he just held him, while Noctis was sobbing through his pain. Gladio could feel the vibrations against his cheek and held back his own grief. His father had died, fighting for his king. And now Noctis would be their king, their highness, and Gladio would gladly die for him as well.

He was still cradling Noctis when Ignis and Prompto drew closer, putting hands on Noctis' head with sad eyes. Gladio didn't need hearing to know that no one said a word. None of them were much of a talker in situations like this. They usually sat it out like men.

Later they met Umbra and learned that Lunafreya was still alive. Gladio didn't know what her voice sounded like but it had to be beautiful when even her written words could make Noctis light up like that. There was a sting of ridiculous jealousy that the shield of the king should not feel. Noctis was not his to love. Lunafreya would marry Noctis and they would be happy. It was all that mattered to Gladio: Noctis' safety and his happiness. If he couldn't make him happy, then the least he could do was making him feel safe. He'd already promised to never fail him again.

(When Umbra left, Noctis smiled, no, beamed at Gladio. But there was nothing he could 'say' so he shoved at Noctis with a grin and Noctis shoved back, until they playfully wrestled each other into the ground. Gladio felt the rumble in Noctis' chest, the trembling in his limbs and the breath against his face. They were so close and an unfamiliar urge to kiss was creeping up the back of Gladio's neck, scaring him. He quickly pulled away, as though he had been burned. 

He couldn't hear the disappointed sound Noctis made.)

* * *

Gladio was angry. He stared at Ignis' scarred eyes and he was _so_ angry. Ignis couldn't see his hands and he couldn't hear Ignis' voice. They only had Prompto and Noctis to translate for them but they were both quite shit at that. What made Gladio even more angry was that Noctis looked like he had given up. He was not supposed to break now, not when his people needed him. When his _friends_ needed him. Gladio did not count himself as one of them, he was nothing more than a bodyguard, and yet... He wanted Noctis to recognise the pain Ignis was in, but he was too caught up in his downward spiral of guilt that he saw nothing beside his own despair. 

_Are you a king or not?!_ he signed angrily and Noctis flinched as if he had been yelled at.

Noctis looked so pained and Gladio wondered, he wondered if he could kiss that expression away, if he could bite the blood out of Noctis' lips until his spirit came back. The king raised his hands to sign something but quickly dropped them again, defeated. It had been years since Gladio had felt the urge to use his voice and now he wanted to scream and _say_ the things that he wanted to say, in a way everyone would understand. He grabbed Noctis by the arm when he turned away, digging his finger into the lean muscle.

"Do not w-walk away from who you are," he shaped the words with caution, finally locking eyes with Noctis. "I st-ill need to foll-ow my... king."

Noctis was wide-eyed, looking at Gladio with parted lips. Then suddenly his face crumbled, that carefully built up wall finally giving in. Noctis squeezed his eyes shut and bit on his lip, hands clenched into fists. Gladio let out a deep sigh and roughly grabbed the hair of Noctis' head to push his face into Gladio's chest. That was all he did and they stood there for a long time. Noctis did not cry, but Gladio felt his mouth move against the thin fabric of his top. Whatever he said, it made Ignis and Prompto shift awkwardly from one foot to another. 

Then he felt Noctis press against his hand so he could push back and look up at Gladio. His face was flushed, his eyes suddenly so very determined and Gladio didn't know what to expect when two hands cupped the back of his neck. He didn't expect to be kissed, not with his companions standing _right there_ , but he absolutely was kissed. Noctis' lips were much rougher than he had imagined (and oh, he imagined a lot), they were a little chapped and clumsily pressed against Gladio's.

Still, it was the best kiss he'd ever had. The only kiss, yes, But he had never wanted anyone else. They were both warriors who hadn't grown up to be tender so the kiss was anything but, at first. But when Noctis realised that Gladio was kissing _back_ , he sucked in a sharp breath and pulled away, licking his lips. Then there was another kiss, a slow one and Gladio felt himself tremble. It was almost too much.

Suddenly Noctis pulled away, turning even redder and Gladio unconsciously chased his mouth. Noctis was moving his lips though and... oh. He was talking to Ignis and Prompto, who were _still waiting for them_.

_"Ignis regrets that he couldn't see that, but he could definitely hear it. Noctis, you pervert!"_

Noctis was even more embarrassed now, mouthing something that looked a lot like 'shut the fuck up' and Gladio was just standing there, stunned. As always, they didn't talk about it. Which Gladio was quite sick of. He didn't get a chance to seek Noctis out until Prompto and Ignis were asleep, and he climbed into Noctis' bed, daring to press a kiss to his neck. He could feel Noctis' body tense for a second, but then it relaxed in such a beautiful way and his arms and legs wound around Gladio's body like they were already used to it. They fit so neatly together and Gladio wanted to stay like this forever. Unfortunately he had to use his hands, so he shifted both of them into a sitting position until they could look at each other.

 _There is something I wanted to say,_ he signed. 

_"What is it?"_

_You are my king. I am your shield. It is my duty to protect you and to love you. But not like that..._

Noctis frowned at that and lifted his hands into awkward shapes that were hard to recognise. Noctis truly was shit at sign language. But whenever Gladio mentioned it Noctis would scowl at him.

_"Do you really think it is a matter of choice?"_

_Isn't it?_

Noctis shook his head. Then, he slowly spelled out names, familiar names.

_"I lost my father. I lost Luna. And I lost myself. I cannot lose you, too."_

_You won't._ Gladio made sure that the signs were clear in this. _But you don't have to do this to make me stay. I will be at your side until I die._

Noctis stared at him.

 _"But you do love me? Like that?"_.

Gladio felt nervous but he nodded. Then he raised his hands to his head to add the sign for 'brat'. Noctis only chuckled at that, something Gladio recognised in the way his shoulders moved. Then there were careful hands again, touching his face and the long scar over his eye, which he had taken for Noctis once. It was not his only scar and he wore every single one of them with pride. They were like handprints of his king on skin, showing everyone where he blonged. Apparently that was right here in Noctis' bed and it was very easy now, to push him down into the mattress with his whole body, searching those lips for another kiss. This time no one watched them and Gladio felt so... free. 

He pulled away to take a breath and then dived back in, pushing his tongue into Noctis' mouth, fully aware of the fact that they were both each other's first. Noctis had been promised to Luna and Gladio... well he had always belonged to Noctis.

 _Mine, mine, mine_ , he chanted in his head. _Yours, yours, yours_.

His fingers curled around Noctis' thighs, spreading them until he could move in-between and be even closer to him. Noctis gasped into his mouth, rolling his hips until there was enough friction to make them groan. It felt good and it was the only thing that mattered right now, because the world was ending and their bodies were trying to survive. Gladio knew all about that kind of survival, the one that made you cling to something familiar, or something you have craved for a long time. There was nothing else they could do, nothing else but grind their hips together until they came in their pants. 

Gladio was actually the first to reach his climax, Noctis' red face and swollen lips being enough to drive him over the edge. And Noctis arched his back so beautifully, head pressing back into the pillow and his mouth opening in a silent groan. He knew it was silent because he had his hand wrapped around Noctis' neck, thumb stroking the tender skin there. Gladio had expected to wish even more now that he could hear, to listen to Noctis' moans but it wasn't like that.

Everything was silent, as usual, but Noctis was filling the silence with so many other sensations. He touched Gladio's skin, the tattoos on his arms, and he was a sight to look at. Gladio could also smell him, when he brushed his nose against the side of his neck. Clean soap and... chocobo. It made Gladio smile against Noctis, whose pleased hum vibrated against his lips. 

Yes, Noctis was keeping his other senses quite busy. There was no time to mourn the lack of hearing or the future that lay ahead of them. Right now it didn't matter, because Noctis was in his arms, loving him back, and it felt good. It didn't matter where the road ended, because it had begun with Noctis and would end with him. Noctis' last breath would always be his, too.

_That's the way it has always been._

Noctis kissed him, then kissed him again and again, long and deep, before he pulled away, lifting his hand to a familiar gesture.

 _"Thank you, for protecting me"_. And then: _"But I will protect you, too._

* * *

(That night, Noctis had his arms wrapped around Gladio's head that was resting on his chest, so he could feel the heartbeat. _"Sleep"_ , Noctis had signed and then, _"sleep properly."_ , with a determined expression on his face. He knew that Gladio didn't sleep anymore. He knew it and Gladio was still ashamed. _"Sleep,"_ Noctis whispered against his forehead, a few times, until Gladio recognised the shape. _"I will look after you"_.

And for the first time in years, Gladio dreamed again. 

There was a bonfire, and Noctis was smiling.)

* * *

Here are the things Noctis had said to Gladio's back:

"Don't treat me like a child, I know what I am supposed to be."

"I don't want to fight."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Please turn around."

"I don't take orders."

"Your voice is beautiful."

"Don't you know?"

"I don't care if I die."

"I don't care about destiny."

"Walk tall, my love."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated <3 Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://squishysoul.tumblr.com/) too! <3


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